With the new year upon us, many of us will start to take more of an initiative with our physical health. And this means eating right and going to the gym.
After my daughter was born, 2 years ago, I got more serious with my diet and working out. Consequently, my physique was changing and I was feeling great.
I would be stopped and asked if I was a trainer, or what my workout routine was, or how should someone get started in the gym.
I’d give them my tips and answer their questions, but the thing that was always on my mind to tell them was just Beware.
Beware, because your confidence is going to skyrocket.
Beware, because you’re going to feel amazing.
Beware, because you’re going to look amazing.
Wait…The word beware indicates danger.
What am I even talking about? How can these seemingly awesome things be dangerous?
The issue occurs with the sudden influx of attention you will be getting. And if you are not used it, it can be intoxicating. When you look good and feel good, you will become a magnet and attract so many people around you.
And if you’re single then it’s great, but if you’re married or dating, it could spell trouble for your relationship.
How you deal with the incoming attention and how much value you place on your relationship will determine the course of your life.
Temptation can occur anywhere; the office, on social media, or at church. And I am putting this out there as a warning because the gym is a very common place for affairs to begin.
Most people would never think of themselves as someone who could cheat…and it’s because they have the notion that cheating just starts with sex.
But it doesn’t start off the bat with sex. It starts off with quick looks, to longer looks, to smiles, to chats, and to longer conversations and daydreaming and fantasizing. These conversations turn flirty, leading to an emotional affair, and finally to a physical affair.
Check out my earlier blog post on how emotional affairs occur.
Going to the gym does not directly cause someone to cheat, but there will be much more of an opportunity to do so in a place where people go to look good and feel good and who value that in others.
Below are some tips to shield yourself from engaging in flirtatious behaviors.
- If possible, work out with your spouse.
- If you’re a friendly person, be aware that friendliness can come off as flirtatious, and flirting indicates receptivity.
- If someone compliments you, accept the compliment and move on. Basking in the compliment from someone you also find attractive can lead down an inappropriate path.
- Trust your gut and put up boundaries. If you immediately feel a connection with someone; use that as a good indicator to keep distance between you.
- If you already feel temptation with someone, and you value your relationship with your spouse, change gyms.
Our moral compass may become a bit skewed, especially when you have a resurgence of feeling young and being admired by someone new. But remember that following through with these feelings will have detrimental consequences.
“The key thing is to operate from your values rather than your feelings.”
Is being a person of integrity part of your values?
Is staying loyal to your spouse and being committed to your marriage part of your values?
Is putting your family first part of your values?
While you’re working out at the gym, be sure to also flex your mindfulness muscle. And put any thoughts that do not align with your values in the mental trash bin.
And by all means, make 2020 an incredible year. Become the best version of yourself, and strengthen and enrich all of your relationships. But while doing so, remember to not be naive to the temptation that will occur when you take care of your physical health.
Stay true to yourself, your spouse, and to your values, and make this year your best one yet.
Happy New Year!
-Vianca Joy
Vianca Joy 