I was always attracted to the Mission Hills neighborhood. Even before moving here I was captured by its lively and vibrant personality. I loved seeing the streets teeming with folks; all smiling all happy, either grabbing a coffee, enjoying a bite to eat at one of the many great restaurants, chatting with friends, or walking their kids hand-in-hand to school.
And just reminiscing on Mission Hills in the fall… Those crisp and cool but brightly shining mornings just filled me with elation. It was so awesome seeing all the homes decorated for Halloween, each a unique residence, but just contributing to the collective whole of the amazing neighborhood…
And moving here in January just solidified that love. Because I wasn’t just an outsider looking in. I was actually a part of the neighborhood.
There I was happy and smiling, either grabbing a coffee, getting a bite to eat with friends, or walking with my kids hand-in-hand to school. All the things that I admired about Mission Hills, here I was doing them. My love for it grew with the awesome neighbors I had, and the great friends I made, and being in such close proximity to everyone really strengthened those bonds. I felt at home, I felt at peace, I felt great.
Here I was enjoying life and not ever thinking that anything could shake this up. But my…let’s just say how blissfully unaware I was that all of this could come to an end.
When the virus started there were little trickles here and there on what the severity was. Rumors of businesses needing to be shut down and stay at home orders being executed…It was like the beginning of a story where one twist just completely throws you for a loop.
Not to downplay the significance of all the lives lost and all of the jobs lost, but the virus had a huge effect on my mental health. Like many of y’all, during this lockdown, I felt pretty indifferent about everything. And sadly that feeling carried over to my relationship with my neighborhood.
And just like in any relationship, when one party holds back, it’s going to crumble.
And staying at home and not doing the things I loved really made me lose that spark.
I’ve lived in and fallen in love with some of most beautiful places in San Diego. I loved living in Downtown where it was so easy to explore the city by foot and bike. I loved living in Cortez Hill and being so close to Balboa Park, or popping into the Zoo just before closing and seeing all of the the animals up close and personal. Or being a few blocks away from La Jolla shores where I got to soak in the ocean breeze and watch the incredible sunsets. Or quickly hopping on my paddle board in La Playa, or making the trek up the hill to the beautiful Sunset Cliffs.
I mean there were some downfalls in each place, but nothing major where I couldn’t rekindle that flame by doing what I loved.
But when the Coronavirus and all of the restrictions hit, it was like someone just severed the bond in totality that I had with my neighborhood. I was unable to do the things I loved, the things that made me happy, and the things that filled me with joy.
But little by little, as the restrictions loosened, with that little normality returning, that feeling started to come back. That happiness that I always had within me began to emerge from the fog that tried so hard to obscure it.
I was driving back home a few nights ago, and it was an incredibly beautiful evening. The bay was glistening with reflections of the sun. And the sky was painted with the most beautiful shades of pink and orange before the sun began to set. And as I was driving on Washington before turning onto Goldfinch, the streets were, once again, teeming with people. Many waiting in a socially distanced queue, and although their smiles were behind facial masks, I felt that happy energy of the neighborhood that drew me in initially.
I came home thinking “gosh I really love it here.” And by just thinking that, I was able to rekindle that love.
My situation in life has allowed me to live in some incredible neighborhoods. Despite a funky circumstance, I was able to experience, explore, and fall in love with some of the most beautiful places in San Diego. The memories I have in these places are so treasured, and I am so thankful for how these experiences shaped me.
I got my eye on some other neighborhoods, and hopefully I will get to experience them all. But no matter where you live, if your heart is not settled and in a peaceful and comfortable place, it’s going to be tough to enjoy your outer environment.
Yes recently my feelings and emotions have tended to sway easily, especially with such a new and heavy influence, being this pandemic. But what I’ve preached remains the same…you are in control over your feelings and emotions.
Yes it took for me to get back in my normal routine and seeing others do the same to get back into that mindset, but it’s possible in any circumstance…even in this wild circumstance that we are in.
You can choose to be happy.
You can choose to take control over your life.
You can choose to look for the positives vs getting sucked into the black hole of negativity and despair.
You can choose.
You have the choice.
Regardless, life is going to have its highs and lows. Living is a series of ups and downs, but both are crucial and necessary.
Both are a part of life.
But isn’t life so damn beautiful?
-Vianca Joy
Vianca Joy 